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Here's how not to let your single status mess with your peace of mind

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Change your perspective about being single

Most people who are single, are not so by choice. For those who choose to be, bravo and well done for being comfortable in your skin. For the others, please realise that being involved with someone, and being single are simply two sides of the same coin. Both situations have their own challenges and benefits. Please look at the entire package when you desire to be in a relationship, and pragmatically see how this works for you.

Know yourself well enough first

Being single is often a subconscious choice, no matter how much you think you want one consciously. Ask yourself what part of you is not willing to share itself with another at a very deep level. You’ll very often find a certain unwillingness to adapt to the other or a lack of flexibility. It’s important at this stage to not judge yourself but to understand that rigidity in any perspective is born out of fear of being hurt (again!).

Value the freedom

We believe that we’ll have a special someone who will allow us to do what we want, when we want and how we want. However it’s not always that romantic. They will have their needs and nuances too, and you will have to be willing to make adjustments and accommodations to their wishes too. Be extremely sure of how much you are really willing to adapt and only then zero in on someone as a likely candidate for you.

Don’t be afraid

Don’t be afraid of making you the most valuable proposition for yourself. By this I mean, don’t be afraid of taking that solo holiday. Don’t be afraid of going and sitting at a restaurant, a movie theatre or at a bar alone. The people you are afraid of will judge you secretly and envy you, but will never admit it.

Be whole first

When you are whole - and by that I mean emotionally sound - only then do you attract an equally emotionally sound partner. No one completes you. Only you can do that for yourself. So work on being a healthier and happier you, and then watch how by magic, the right person shows up at your doorstep, when you aren’t looking.

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