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What to do when a loved one is being racist

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Racist behaviours

1.

Avoiding public interactions with people of different races

2.

Telling racist jokes

3.

Speaking negatively about/ stereotyping a specific ethnic group

4.

Giving the benefit of the doubt only to people of the same race

5.

Avoiding any forms of relationships with people of different races/ ethnicities

Racist behaviours

6.

Prioritising people of own race

7.

Saying that they are ‘colourblind' or that they ‘don't see race'

8.

Policing the tone of people of colour

9.

Appropriating race/ culture of a social group

10.

Denying their own privilege/ racism

11.

Fearing people of colour

Before you speak up

If your loved one showed any racist behaviour, notice how it makes you feel. It's okay to take time and space away from your loved one to decide how to proceed.
1. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable
2. Temper your expectations
3. Be in it for the long haul

Speaking up

1.

Be empathetic

2.

Be curious, don't make assumptions

3.

Don't advise - inform rather than direct (e.g. instead of saying ‘you should/ can't/ have to', say instead, ‘that idea is hurtful because…/ that behaviour makes life harder for people because…')

What to do if your loved one refuses to change

1.

Set ground rules around racism - state gently but clearly, what you will and will not tolerate

2.

Cut ties

3.

Let it go

4.

Talk to someone about it

5.

Consider seeing a therapist if you need help managing your feelings

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